SPECIAL LEAP YEAR REPORT
ATTENDANCE
GRUFF-(for 5 minutes to drop off LRB) and an unsolicited roll on the "EXCUSE DICE" (kids are sick and his wife cannot cope with pus and vomit) I think he dropped off his balls as well as the rulebook.
MORPH -gamely prepared with beer and a winning attitude.
THE NORTHERN LIGHTER THIEF-with enough cannabis for himself and yours truly to get a lickle tickle on
BTB-(no excuse I live here)
NO SHOWS
SHELDON-no contact, probably saving SHELDONOPOLIS
FNG-working late again ?
APOLOGY
If anybody is checking in you may have noticed no "show and tell" last weekend, I must take this opportunity to say I`m sorry and explain that I was taking a break from reality and completely forgot (oooopppss) this is most remiss of me and I`ll try not to let it happen again (yeah right)
Any way back to this evenings action.
EVENINGS ACTION
As I was scheduled to play GRUFF and SHELDON was this evenings referee I sat in for SHELDON and ran the game between MORPH and THE NORTHERN LIGHTER THIEF so without any more BS on with the game.
We are now running full league rules(pre and post game phases,fouls,injuries etc.)
So in front of 23,000 screaming fans the opening day game kicked off.
MORNING WOOD (Elves) kick off,the weather is nice (perfect for BLOODBOWL) and before DEVITO`S DEVILS (Dwarves) can pick up the ball a rock is hurled from the crowd and fells a Dwarven runner,luckily he`s only stunned.Even as the player crumples to the turf the ball bounces out of bounds resulting in a touch back.
With the ball safely tucked away the DEVILS rumble forward,after some average blocking a Trollslayer takes the law into his own gauntlets and tries to injure a Wardancer with an underhand move. Not only does he not injure the player but the ref spots the rule breach and the Trollslayer takes an early bath. Sent off on the 1st turn (OUCH). In hindsight this set the tone for the rest of the night regarding MORPH`S luck.
The Elves reply and manage to knockout the other Trollslayer. DEVITO`S DEVILS down 2 players after the 1st painful turn.
The DEVIL`S proceed to rumble (or is it stumble) towards the half way line and after some less than spectacular blocking end up completely surrounded by a far quicker Wood elf team.
The following turn is dominated by more piss poor Dwarf blocking and the ball carrier is smashed to the ground coughing up the football which bounces straight to a waiting Wood Elf hand and with a blazing turn of speed he highsteps untouched into the Endzone. ONE NIL MORNING WOOD!
On the following kick-off the WOOD`S fans crazed cheers gain their team an extra re-roll counter for this half, can anything go the DEVIL`S way ?
Now the Dwarves have established a pattern of shocking blocking they seem to be reluctant to give it up. The ball is scooped up and they trundle forward as fast as their little legs can carry them.The Wood Elves react by closing down the flanks.
The 5th turn does not see things improve for the wee men as more woeful blocking see`s one of their Blitzers knocked cold and he is dragged from the pitch by the coaching team.The WOOD close down the ball carrier but in doing so allow a Long Beard to slip through unmarked.
After some desperate scrambling in the backfield and more pat-a-cake blocking from the DEVIL`S a pass is heaved upfield to be promptly dropped by the open Long Beard (Dwarves can`t pass or catch for shit). The Wood Elves swoop on the grounded ball,a Wardancer picks up and passes the ball in one fluid movement, arcing it over the heads of the flat-footed Dwarves in the direction of the furthest player upfield who plucks it out of the air and sprints towards the Endzone.
Turn 7 brings some stalwart defence from the plucky DEVIL`S (about time) leaving 2 Woodies stunned and a Catcher carted off unconscious but as the only player able to reach the breakaway Elf fumbles his "GO FOR IT" roll and crashes to the ground leaving the unmarked Woody to stroll unmolested into the Endzone. TWO NIL MORNING WOOD!
The final turn of the half kicks off with the Woodies taken by surprise with a quick snap leaving an unconscious Lineman and another so badly hurt he will take no further part in this game.This last action leaves the doughty Dwarves with a small measure of satisfaction (BOOM BOOM) And the whistle blows for half-time.
As much of the early part of the evening was taken up waiting for people who did not show up and the incoherent condition of those who did show up, it was decided to call it a night and pick it up again next week.
So to sum up, this is only half a BAT REP (WHAT!?) Without any pictures again (Hormonal Daughter Issues),we seem unable to accomplish or finish anything.I guess it`s just one of those weeks,let`s not have another one like it too soon.No I haven`t forgotten.THE NORTHERN LIGHTER THIEF turned up last so he had to roll the "EXCUSE DICE" resulting in "what can I say, the bitch is mad".That brought this evenings fun and frolics to it`s sad conclusion, more tales of woe and misunderstanding next week.
SEE YOU ON THE OTHER-SIDE
BTB OUT
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